swordwolffandomcom-20200213-history
Bermuda Triangle
On its maiden voyage in 1912, the RMS Titanic was completely undamaged. It continued its service for years afterwards, until one day in 1958, when it wandered a little off course into the Bermuda Triangle. On board the ship was Detroit Michigan, Napoleon Ampharos, Yrlis Fowne, Cry Evertim, and the entire student body of Saint Tortoise's Orphanage School For The Deaf. After a night of hard partying, Detroit unlocked a hidden part of his genes, revealing that he was, in fact, Dutch. Coincidentally, Cry lost all contact with his Dutch heritage the same night. During the voyage through the Bermuda Triangle, Napoleon noticed an iceberg approaching with his handmade double telescope viewing device. Wanting to save the day, Napoleon rushed to the cockpit and shouted that they were about to hit an iceberg. The captain, who was going to have steered away from the iceberg anyway, was distracted by his shouting and forgot to steer away from the iceberg. The entire student body of Saint Tortoise's Orphanage School For The Deaf, being deaf, didn't hear what he said and were just happy to be there. Suddenly, the boat lurched forward, launching every person in the cockpit through the windshield one at a time because nobody was wearing their seat belts. Some people landed on the iceberg itself, some were thrown into the ocean, and some landed on Orlando Bloom Island (no relation to the the British actor, who would be born in 1977). Yrlis Fowne had come to this time period in order to stop the sinking of the Titanic, and since she had failed, she no longer had any reason to be here. So she began cooking up her time potion in the closest brewing pot available to her, which also happened to be the biggest brewing pot she had ever used: the ocean. Yrlis, using her extremely tall stilts, walked out into the ocean and started stirring, creating a small whirlpool and adding magic ingredients such as Tear of Deaf Moth Child. Detroit, seeing as he was now stranded on an island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, found enlightenment. For years he had been wasting his potential as a Donut Professor at Tortise University, but in this moment he gave it all up to become the first priest of the Donut Cult, and coined the slogan "Praise be to Donut God" (The Donut God, who had been vacationing in Universe Sheldon, was just thankful to be recognized for once). Meanwhile, Napoleon, being a lover of adventure, started exploring the island and came across a secret Navy base of operations. He stepped inside, but while the door had been unlocked, it had also been armed with a curse. Suddenly Napoleon had contracted OCD, and felt compelled to store all of his weapons in alphabetical order (the mental disorder stayed with him for the rest of his life, and was a contributor to Napoleon's extremely poor performance in the War of the World.) Detroit had unnaturally quickly built a ship in the name of Donut God. He asked Cry Evertim wanted to join the Donut Cult; Cry refused, but Detroit pulled him onto the boat anyway, planning to sacrifice him. He pushed the boat out into the water, and it was pulled into the current of Yrlis' time-potion-whirlpool, which had now grown considerably in size and started a small thunderstorm. Napoleon pressed some random buttons in the Navy base, just to see what would happen. One of them, through an elaborate chain of events that would have been very entertaining to watch if it had been visible, cased a coconut to fall and hit Detroit Michigan squarely in the head. Most people watching at the time expected that the blow to his head would cause Detroit to come to his senses and give up all this cult nonsense, but it didn't. Detroit brought a knife to Cry's neck and prepared him for sacrifice. It was then that the Donut God decided that enough was enough. Being worshiped had been fun while it lasted, but this guy was just taking it way too far. It was never supposed to be this serious. The Donut God used what little divine energy he had been given by Detroit believing in him to cause Napoleon Ampharos to walk out of the Navy base, climb onto Detroit's ship, and very purposefully hit him in the head again, with a very hard wooden club. That did the trick, and Detroit Michigan suddenly forgot all about the cult-religion he had invented. Yrlis Fowne's time portal had been completed, so once she was gone the whirlpool evaporated and the rest of the Titanic's passengers were picked up and brought home on the ship Detroit had built. Once he returned home, Napoleon Ampharos started taking medication for his OCD, which helped a lot in certain parts of his life, but the curse that had given him the disorder was never lifted.